I hate it when I step out of the shower

livethefaggotry:

and my cat is there like 

and she just 

AND SHE JUST GOES 

MEOW MORE LIKE FUCK YOU. 

(via pinakuwata)

how to give an awful handjob

listinthings:

• be unaware of where the penis is
• scream into the penis
• use the back of your hand
• slap the penis and call it “buddy”
• condescend to the penis
• set your hand on fire

(via grizzlynitram)